The flavor I got was really bloody

Welcome to Top Chef, Not Top Scallop, the world’s greatest Top Chef recap blog. This is a review of Top Chef: Portland, episode 7. My name is Randall Colburn and I am going to make fun of Richard Blais a lot. Read last week’s recap here and my latest LCK recap here.

As someone who spends a not insignificant time of my life thinking about Top Chef, I’ve been mulling over why these later seasons of the series are so rich in support and fellowship. I remarked last week that the preview of this week’s episode made it more or less obvious that Gabriel wouldn’t be returning from Last Chance Kitchen, as the response was simply too enthusiastic. But it says something that it was enthusiastic at all. I think back to the chilly response Bev got when she returned in Texas, the way Ed bitchily bristled at no longer being part of the “top four.” I mean, that response isn’t unwarranted — this is a competition and no serious player would welcome another roadblock to the final — but it draws such a stark contrast to the open arms that met Jamie when she returned this week. Padma even remarked upon it.

But it’s not so simple as their pandemic bubble amplifying the bonds between them, I think. I touched on this last week a bit, but Top Chef’s become a kinder, gentler show since Harold and Tiffany and (based god) Stephen Asprinio first sauntered into Hubert Keller’s kitchen. A cursory glance at Top Chef history finds group bullying, pea puree conspiracies, fruitless stabs at sabotage (hi, Spike!), and numerous accusations of under-the-bus throwing, not to mention a handful of honest-to-goodness egomaniacs (Stefan, Marcel, D.C.’s Kenny) and jerks (Ilan, Boston’s Aaron, Cali’s Phillip, Seattle’s Josh). We haven’t seen anything like that in the last several seasons, which I think most of us would agree is a good thing.

I think that’s due to a lot of things. As I discussed last week, the show’s clearly become a lot more inclusive, focusing as much on communities and local color as it does on a region’s culinary fat cats. (Considering the #MeToo reckoning that’s been unfolding in the culinary world, that’s probably wise. Remember when they had to edit John Besh out of an entire episode?) Challenges that engage marginalized or overlooked pockets of a city inevitably lead to a focus on ingredients you might find at Whole Foods, as well as the sense that, as a chef, you’re doing more with your talent than justifying a high-end dining experience. Identity’s always been intertwined with cooking, but it wasn’t until Vegas, I think — Kevin’s journey, specifically — that the show really started emphasizing the ways in which culture and lived experience contribute to what’s on the plate. Now, all these seasons later, that emphasis is baked into the show’s narrative thrust, character development, and editing. And when the producers are pushing that stuff behind the scenes, rather than some (clearly manipulated) pea puree drama, then you’re going to foster a healthier environment.

Follow any of these chefs on social media and you’ll see that Top Chef alums tend to remain as tight as anyone in Bachelor Nation. That’s likely to happen here, too. This episode, there was a general consensus in the kitchen that everyone would help each other package up their dishes and get them out the door. “One team, one dream,” says Avishar. There was an understanding that what they were doing was bigger than the competition, that, within their bubble, they were contributing in some small way to a greater social good. And this is where the pandemic aspect factors in. Some of these chefs have lost restaurants, others have been forced to furlough loyal workers, and each and every one of them has seen their life’s work fundamentally altered. For the first time in months, they’re feeling useful. That collective sense of utility is what binds communities. “It’s unreal the brotherhood that we have formed,” Maria says.

Anyways, just some thoughts.

Jamie’s back and in the worst Schwarzenegger impression that’s ever been uttered says “I’m back” instead of “I’ll be back” (which wouldn’t have made sense) and I can’t think of a person who better embodies “Chaotic Good.” I feel like if she ever truly leaves the competition it’ll be in an animated spaceship fueled by rainbows. She is not of this world.

Quickfire

In honor of Jamie’s return, we get a “second chance” Quickfire with two hooks: The first is that the chefs should try to make a dish they’ve fucked up in the past, and the other is that they can only use “second chance” ingredients like moldy cheese, wrinkly peppers, overripe bananas, and plenty of less-than-desirable proteins. (Shades of one of my all-time favorites, Charleston’s TRASH FISH, here. My favorite challenge genre, I’ve realized, is “cook garbage.”)

When someone says “garbage”:

Some chefs opt to atone for recent mistakes: Maria, for example, makes a shrimp cake to help atone for the dry shrimp she previously cooked the judges, while Jamie and Dawn each take another stab at the proteins they biffed in the very first challenge. Others draw from their personal lives. Chris mentions a vichyssoise he cooked for a group of 700, Gabe makes another go at a “burnt bread mole,” and Shota recalls being yelled at early in his career for fucking up a fish head dish. (Though I wouldn’t yell, I might scream if a fish head ended up on my plate.)

Everyone is so happy to see Jamie again that they all make little nonsense noises at her. It would be funny if she got serious all of a sudden and was like, “I’m not your fucking clown.”

Gabe’s mole (one of “12 or 13” moles he’s capable of making) and Dawn’s fire-roasted tuna kama with peanut sauce land on the top, but it’s Shota’s soy-braised fish head that wins.

The collagen in their lips, you see, absorbs so much flavor.

Elimination Challenge

José Andrés, a Top Chef regular whose World Central Kitchen been one of the culinary world’s foremost feeders of frontline workers throughout the pandemic, appears via Zoom to help explain the elimination challenge. The chefs are tasked with cooking an approachable, well-rounded dish for frontline workers that travels well and can be reheated.

No, Shota. No fish heads.

They also need to follow a series of COVID-19 health and safety guidelines while cooking and, if there’s any part of this season that will undoubtedly serve as its own traumatizing time capsule, it’s this. The chefs cook in masks, the judges meet staff members outside to safely deliver the food, and, later, several frontline workers share their teary reactions via Zoom. Everyone is exhausted. As they should be. 2020 fucking sucked, man.

The bubble having been punctured, the chefs are clearly bearing a different kind of weight during this challenge. Avishar dulls the abundant spices in his Bengali curry out of fear of blowing out palates. A nervous Shota fails to find inspiration. And Sara, evoking what it might be like if Carla Hall had an anxiety disorder, tries to “channel some positive vibes” as she plates by repeating “everything’s gonna be so good” in a way that sounds more like she’s nervously asking it to.

The good news is that it does turn out good. Dawn’s does, too, which I think we all expected after seeing her have a sweet chat with her mother. The winner, however, is Jamie, who, despite being fresh from LCK, seems to have the coolest head in the kitchen.

Let’s look at the winners:

Sara’s lentil falafel with carrot and pumpkin seed “hummus-y thing,” tomato salad, and flatbread

Sara: “I hope they feel the love.”

Tom: “It was clear that it was well-intentioned and very well-executed.”

Gail: “Sara’s pita is so damn good.”

Padma: “That yogurt sauce here with mint is so bright.”

Tom: “There’s no meat in it and you don’t miss it.”

Dawn’s tamarind braised top sirloin with coconut rice grits and maple red onion glazed cabbage wedge

Gail: “Dawn’s meat is super flavorful.”

Kwame: “She does not lack on the flavor.”

Carrie: “She was really brave in giving us a quarter head of braised and grilled cabbage. That was a bold move.”

Kwame: “You gave us an intelligent and comforting dish, all in one. You just have a way of seasoning your food.”

Jamie’s kimchi tofu soup with bulgogi braised pork, eggplant, and steamed rice

Kwame: “Jamie’s soup is delicious. It has the flavor that I was hoping to get from this soup.”

Tom: “The eggplant’s really flavorful.”

Gregory: “There’s some good sour notes in here.”

Gail: “There was some heat to that soup and you balanced it beautifully.”

Padma: “For me, the spice level was perfect.”

Gail: “She really thought through how to package the dish.”

I could be wrong on this, but I can’t think of an instance where the LCK winner came back swingin’ like this. Regardless, it’s nice to see an LCK winner not going home the challenge immediately after returning (which I know has happened multiple times).

When Jamie wins right after returning from LCK:

And the losers:

Maria’s pork in grilled tomatillo salsa, cabbage, avocado slaw, corn salsa, and tortilla

Maria: “Honestly, this challenge got the best of my emotions.”

Padma: “Maria’s dish is really tasty.”

Gail: “I love the tomatillo, I love the salsa, you taste the char.”

Tom: I thought the pork and tomatillo gave a really great acidity to it.

Padma: “I appreciate she made the tortilla herself.”

Tom: “Unfortunately, it’s raw.”

Padma: “I thought you had the best stew of the day. If it wasn’t for that tortilla, you wouldn’t be standing here.”

Chris’ grilled chicken breast with potato and sweet potato gratin, charred cauliflower, leaks, and Brussels sprouts

Kwame: “Chris’ chicken breast is cooked immaculately.”

Tom: “That’s as good as you can cook it.”

Kwame: “The thing that throws me off is the lack of seasoning. He said he used habaneros, I don’t taste habaneros.”

Melissa: “Chris did a great job beautifully layering the gratin, but it’s not cooked enough.”

Dale: “No seasoning, lack of vision.”

Padma: “Nothing that Chris makes has any seasoning in it!”

Gail: “Everything just needed salt.”

Padma: “I would love to see you get a little down and dirty with your food.”

Avishar’s Bengali style curry with chana cauliflower and basmati rice

Padma: “He did a good job with the rice.”

Tom: “The stew is broken, mealy. All those ingredients he put in there, I can’t taste them.”

Padma: “It’s not even a matter of heat, it’s a matter of flavor.”

Carrie: “Where’s the curry?”

Dale: “Where’s the heat? Where’s the spice? It makes me question, did he taste this?”

Padma: “What surprised me was the utter lack of flavor.”

Tom: “Because you didn’t sear the meat, the flavor I got was really bloody.”

Look, this one was obvious. Maria nailed all of her elements aside from the tortilla. As for Chris, everyone seemed to agree that he cooked his protein perfectly; the criticism of his lack of seasoning feels more cumulative than pegged to this specific challenge. I feel like the show is trying to give him the “shadow chef” self-actualization narrative that Shirley pioneered in New Orleans with the “vision” comments. We’ll see if he’s able to grasp onto it.

Avishar gets some redemption by finally cooking rice properly, but his attempt to make the dish more accessible only resulted in it losing its punch. Curries are supposed to be aggressive, dude! But it was his time, I think. He’s been a fun presence on the show and he’s obviously got imagination for days, but his execution seemed to always fall short. I hope he and Shota stay friends. I died when he asked Shota to open a bottle for him.

I leave you with my favorite Avishar GIF:

Scraps:

• Sorry this one is late. I just got back from Mexico yesterday and I’m burnt to all hell.
• I can’t believe I waited this long to celebrate Kwame’s crossing guard chic drip.

• Angry Dale returns! Absolutely loved him trashing the chefs for stressing out over 65 plates. “We had to do 300 plates!” Carrie’s deadpan reply: “Kids these days.”
• More info on Dave’s Killer Bread here. Cool mission.
• I feel like I didn’t get enough context for Shota’s “Sup, old ginger” crack in his confessional. I get that the old ginger was hard to grate, but what prompted him to say “Sup, old ginger.” Something is missing and it’s stressing me out!
• Next time on Top Chef: Restaurant Wars! Featuring Seattle winner Kristen Kish! It looks really awkward!